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So Why Are You Still Here?

 I am a person who have proven to stay too long in situations that are no longer good for me. It took my daughter pointing out that I was forced to stay in those types of situations growing up and so it's no surprise that I would do the same in my adult relationships. Besides that, I have a history of people pleasing and co-dependency and couple that with not really knowing or accepting who I am, followed by my being a nurterer and wanting to fix broken people, yep, recipe for disaster. Right now I am currently asking myself why I am still here? I've had to fight the entire time to feel heard but only to the extent in which he chooses. I feel like I can't be myself because he doens't really like the real me. I feel like I don't matter because he isn't upset about my rights as a woman being taken away. I am asking myself daily why am I still here? I am waiting to see if I get into nursing school and that will help me decide what to do when I leave because while I...
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Pissed Off & Questioning So Much

  I used to be so proud to be an American and so proud to be a Texan. Right now, I am questioning how proud I am of any of it. As many of you know, Roe V Wade was overturned by a Supreme Court decision yesterday, June 24, 2022. I have so many feelings about this right now. First, it makes me question what Bible "Christians" are reading and it makes me wonder how comfortable I am associating myself with and calling myself a Christian. See, the Jesus in the Bible loved everyone. Sure, he was quick to point out when you were not following God's law but he did it with love, understanding and compassion. The Bible goes on to tell us that one sin is not greater than another sin because all sin, even sin in the mind that was never acted out, it's all sin and yet, we, people, go around saying how one sin is greater than another. The Bible is full of contradictions and was written in a time when women had no rights but times have changed and Jesus, the Jesus from the Bible, he...
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HESI X 2

 Today I will be putting on my big girl panties and going back to the testing center to take the HESI for the second time. I have studied and studied and studied until I just cannot study any longer. My brain hurt, math is finally starting to make sense and I've decided that the United States has to be difficult with everything because we measure everything diffrent than most countries.  I am putting myself through this tourture so that I can become an RN but let me tell you what I believe are the worst parts of this entire process. Today I can go take this test, ace it, do all the things required of me for this nursing program and still not get selected. If I were to not pass this test so that I can just apply for the RN bridge program, the new requirements are an additional class and to pass dosage calculation before I could take the test for a 3rd time and pass just so that I can apply for RN school and let's not even talk about how brutal nursing school is. Many RNs that I...
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